


white noise (what an awful sound)

by qiankuns



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: College AU, M/M, and stuff happens, and they discover a rlly weird concept, donghyuck films it, friendship yay, haha idk pls accept it, its like the nctmentary but like expanded, mmm so everyone minus hyuck are part of this dream class
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-02
Updated: 2018-11-10
Packaged: 2019-03-25 23:29:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13845303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/qiankuns/pseuds/qiankuns
Summary: donghyuck becomes fascinated by a group of dark haired boys who wore fancy overcoats and carried thick books. (or in which donghyuck is a lonely media major who gets swept into the world of dream philosophers who discover something particularly strange. friendship ensues)





	1. will wonders ever cease?

**Author's Note:**

> this is more of a character study on donghyuck and idk it focuses more on the group's friendship than romance... but i got inspired by the nctmentarys so yea.. Haha [sweats] Unedited. goodbye!!!! title from mystery of love by sufjan stevens

Like the first snow of the year, Donghyuck’s arrival to the first class of the week was a little later than forecasted. His boots had left snow tracks all over the red carpet of the class and the sound of his crinkly coat being removed filled up the room.

Last year, the professor would have said something along the lines of 'Nice of you to grace us with your presence, Donghyuck.' with a snarky tone and arms crossed as the class watched with amusement but they were past that. It was the second year now, Donghyuck was no longer an entertaining goofy freshman, he was just someone his classmates glanced at once when the classroom doors opened 20 minutes late and someone his professor doesn't even spare a sigh to anymore.

In his defense, he had a legitimate reason for being late this time. He had to go to the office and register his major. Donghyuck had decided to take the long route there. Instead of crossing the two school blocks with the bridge that connected them, he chose to cross the vast field in between. This gave him time to think. He really had no clue what to major in. He took the same classes every first year was required to take but that year had flew in a blink of an eye and he had yet found something he was interested in. Sure, he liked History and Cinema Studies but he couldn't imagine dedicating his life to it.

Donghyuck paused. Snow was falling and it kissed the ground white. He was a boy of the summer and the snow dazed him. As it fell on his red hair, he decides there was magic in the way everything looked beautiful covered in the snow. He was a boy made of the summer heat and salty air and there he stays as the world around him frosted over. At the office he ticks Media Production under major and returns outside. The snow fell and it blanketed the thoughts of majors, doubts and being on time to English Literature.

As the professor’s voice fills the room with something about required reading, Donghyuck sighs into the hand he rested his head on. He thought back to this morning and how that felt so far away. As if he entered a pocket in time where all stilled and there was only him and the snow.

‘Dude, wake up.’ said a voice from his left which snapped him back to reality. When had he fallen asleep?

‘Good morning.’ The boy chuckled as Donghyuck looked at his surroundings in sleepy confusion. 'You're Lee Donghyuck, right? We got assigned to write this topic's paper together.'

'Yeah I am.' Donghyuck says as he slings his backpack over his shoulders. 'What's it about?'

'If you weren't too busy drooling you would know it's about rhythm in poetry. We have to pick a poem and write about why it's rhythm is interesting.' The boy says as the two of them exited the classroom together.

‘I do not drool.' Donghyuck rolls his eyes but swipes at his cheeks for good measure. The boy laughs at this.

‘Well, I’ll get evidence next time. I’m Jaemin by the way.’ he says as they reach the entrance of the library.

‘Over my dead body, Jaemin.’ Donghyuck replies with a smile.

‘I have a group study right now but if you're free we can meet up here tomorrow afternoon? Let's say around 4-ish?’ Jaemin asks.

Donghyuck pretends to think hard on this as if he ever had any plans at all. 'Sure. 4 sounds good.'

Jaemin grins and taps his ID which allowed him to enter the library. 'Alright, that's settled then. See you later!'

'See you.'

Donghyuck watched as he joined a table at the back full of dark haired boys with matching overcoats and thick books. One of them smiles at Jaemin and points to something on his book. Donghyuck felt a bit odd. He doesn't know when the last time he had joked around with another person. A weird sensation washes over him. Aching? No, it was longing. Donghyuck looks away and sighs as he realizes he was now late to his History class.

 

-

 

After first seeing them in the library , Donghyuck spots the boys everywhere. He thinks it’s a coincidence but he never really believed in those. There were 6 boys in total. He of course knew Jaemin, with perfect hair and charm that radiated off him which pulled people in like a magnet. Despite seeming to know the entire school, he was almost always just with two other boys. One was also tall, with a bright smile and seemed the most quiet. He knows this was Lee Jeno, a History major who could memorize facts instantly and never seemed to forget anything. He was also joined at the hip to Jaemin. The other boy in their trio was Huang Renjun, an Art major with a concentration in sculpture and also the one who had an abundance of fond smiles for Jeno.

The next day, Donghyuck spots more of them. He usually eats in empty hallways but decided that since it was snowing he wanted to enjoy his breakfast sandwich accompanied by a good view from the second floor balcony which looked out at the field between the two school blocks. He then spots 5 of them crossing the thick snow. Jaemin was walking backwards as he reenacted something to which Renjun rolled his eyes and Jeno laughed at. Behind them, two first year boys were having what seemed like a heated argument. The taller one being Park Jisung, a studious boy from the dance department and the one throwing a snowball in his direction being Zhong Chenle who was the first ever first year to be a part of the school’s orchestra line up.

Just as Donghyuck had scrunched up his sandwich wrapper and was about to head to class (he would be early, finally), a sixth figure joined the group. He was the only one who wore glasses full time, they were round, thin wire framed glasses that Donghyuck was sure his great grandfather owned. He had run to catch up with the group and Donghyuck held his breath to what he knew was bound to happen. Before he knew it, laughter erupted from the group below him as Mark Lee huffed and picked himself up from the snow he had just slipped and fell on. His arrival caused the whole group to walk closer as Jaemin says something which made the boys laugh harder and for Mark to shake his head. Donghyuck knew who Mark Lee was because his Latin professor continuously complimented him. But from what Donghyuck knew, Mark wasn't the quiet boy in class who wrote beautiful poetry in Latin, he just always seemed to trip in hallways. That information was concluded from his amazing observational skills.

And once Donghyuck became aware of their existence, they showed up everywhere. Jaemin and Jeno whispering by the water fountain. Mark and Renjun crossing the field, going the opposite way of Donghyuck. Chenle and Jisung at the office battling about who should use the printer first. They were all such different people, each of them a stark contrast to each other but there was one thing that connected them and that was the fact they were the only 6 students in the entire school who took the Philosophy of Dreams class. They were inseparable. Their friendship was so tightly knitted and interconnected that most of the time it was like the world they existed in only consisted of them.

It was 4pm. 4.15pm to be exact because Donghyuck got nervous and hid out in the bathroom before washing his face and heading to the library. He knew he had nothing to worry about. It wasn't like this was the first time he worked with another person. He wasn't a master of socializing but he could handle an hour or two with one boy. He taps his ID and enters, looking out for Jaemin and finds him at a table in the back accompanied by the usual 5 boys. The table was all hushed whispers and stacks of paper scattered. Donghyuck takes his time walking to the table and when he does reach it, he sees how concentrated they all look that he's almost scared to disrupt them.

'That doesn't even make sense. Do you know what you're suggesting? You're telling us that-' Jisung says in a sharp whisper before Mark elbows him. The whole table looks up at Donghyuck. Jaemin's face lights up. 'Donghyuck! Hi!'

Donghyuck waves and awkwardly stands by the table. 'Duty calls. Don't miss me too much.' Jaemin says as he stands up and leads him to another table nearby. They sit facing each other and Donghyuck starts a word document on his laptop.

'Not to sound like I'm mad or being petty but you guys seemed busy. We can always reschedule if you want.' Donghyuck looks at his keyboard.

'Oh, sorry about that. Don't worry about it, we're just goofing around. Let's work on the paper.' Jaemin pulls out a book of poems. Donghyuck looks up and meets his eyes. There was something comforting in the way Jaemin smiled at him that calmed his insecurities. 'I was thinking about our old man Poe. The Raven is pretty interesting. What about you?'

Donghyuck smiles as he pulls out his own copy of the poetry book with The Raven already tabbed. As eerie as the poem was, he resonated with it and it became one of his favourites. 'Glad to know we're on the same wavelength.'

 

-

 

It took them three hours but they finally have all 1,500 words typed out and ready to be handed in. Jaemin stretches and yawns. Donghyuck saves the document and shuts his laptop.

'Nana, Renjun lost a bet, so he's buying us dinner. We're eating good tonight.' Mark Lee says as he reaches their table and takes a seat next to Jaemin.

Jaemin pumps his fist in the air and makes an excited sound. 'What was the bet?'

'If you were going to finish the paper before the library closes. He was the only one who said you couldn't.'

Jaemin beams. 'You guys believe in me that much? Aww, you're so sweet.' He says while pinching Mark's cheek, or at least attempting to.

The tips of Mark's ears go red and Donghyuck feels so out of place. This was probably his cue to leave. He clears his throat. 'I should go.'

'Oh, alright. This was really fun. We make a good team, I'm glad we got paired up.' Jaemin shakes his hand. 'Thank you for your work, Donghyuck.'

Donghyuck gulps. 'Yeah, it was. You're a great partner. See you in class.' He stands with his laptop tucked to his chest and nods to Mark then exits the library. Outside he leans against the wall and lets out a loud breath. Longing. For jokes and losing dumb bets. He shakes the word out of his head and makes his way back to the dorms. There was a time where Donghyuck had friend who were as loud as his red hair. They pulled silly pranks and called each other by nicknames formed from inside jokes. There isn't a dramatic story of how Donghyuck lost it all. They just went to different colleges and two texts a day became none and soon the only notifications he got on his phone were from his mobile provider. He wasn't bitter or sad, just a tiny bit lonely. He opens his eyes and didn't realise he had closed them in the first place or that he had stopped walking.

He turns around and Donghyuck finds that there is magic in the way his footsteps get covered up by the snow as if he was never really there. The feeling of longing returns and that's how he knows he still exists. A boy of the summer in the freezing winter of December.


	2. oh, to see without my eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the first few chapters are very introductory (ofc) but i swear it gets more interesting than just donghyuck internally crying over his new bffs.... peace out

Donghyuck wakes up to an open window and his lips blue. Snow fell gracefully outside but he was less graceful in his walk over to the window to shut it. His toes felt frozen. The clock reads 5.15am. He sighs and grabs his towel from where it dried on his chair. He might as well take a warm shower to regain feeling in his limbs again and get his day started. The moon shone brightly from the tiny window in the bathroom. Somehow this sight was so familiar to him. Stars and the vast space between each one. He might have seen it in a dream. Maybe he had one last night, or maybe it was from a faraway time when he used to have dreams he'd tell his friends about.

Today, he puts on a wool hat even though it was big on him and was a bright orange that almost hurt to look at. He was too cold to even care about how he looked, not that he cared otherwise. Donghyuck crossed the snow covered field as the sun started to rise and he looked at his surroundings. The school was deserted at this time of the day. The sky was a light blue that almost seemed unreal. He wondered if he had entered another pocket of time where there was only him in the world. His breath that came out in clouds of fog snapped him to the present time and he trudges on.

Donghyuck reaches the media equipment room and sighs in relief when the teacher's assistant sat at the desk. He signed his name and picked up a bag of equipment. Second years were allowed to borrow equipment from the school even outside of projects. Outside the class, he unzipped the bag and pulled out the small old fashioned hand held camcorder. He raced out to the balcony and switched it on for the first time. Through the viewfinder he sees tall trees with branches covered in white. He sees the sky, now with spots of orange and the sun peeking out. He sees a few students with sleepily trudging through the snow to get to school. Donghyuck feels giddy. Through these lenses, everything had looked serene and romantic. The lenses get capped again and he makes his way to the English Literature classroom where he sets his and Jaemin's paper on the desk and takes a seat by the window. He decides he likes being early. Maybe he'd try to be early for everything from now on. When the class starts filing in, they paid no attention to him except for the girl who usually sits where he does, who grumbles and moves towards the back.

This time, Jaemin was late. Today, it was his loud boots that filled the classroom and interrupted the stillness of the professor reading a poem titled 'Sunlight on the Garden'. But unlike Donghyuck, Na Jaemin had a smile that made the professor nod at his presence in understanding and the class laughing at how he struggled to get out of his coat. When the class ends, the professor compliments everyone handing in their papers on time and he makes eye contact with Jaemin from across the room to which they shared a smile. Jaemin heads over to his desk and waits for Donghyuck to gather his stuff, then they leave together like this was a normal thing for them to do.

'Guess I've replaced you as the one who comes in late.' Jaemin says.

'Were you too busy drooling?' Donghyuck jokes. He doesn't know where it comes from but the laughter that it sparks out of the other boy makes him thankful.

'Something like that.'

They fall into silence and Donghyuck doesn't really know where they're going. He has his Media class on the other block in exactly 5 minutes but he still follows Jaemin to wherever he's heading. They reach the library and Donghyuck almost laughs. Of course they were at the library.

'Hey, I never see you around at the cafeteria. Do you have some secret spot?' Jaemin asks.

Something in Donghyuck lights up. Jaemin noticed his absence. Jaemin noticed his presence. 'I just eat anywhere that's quiet. Which is basically everywhere but the cafeteria.'

'Oh, I feel you. We've been struggling. Usually we eat out on the field under some tree but lately with the snow we have to seek shelter and warmth in the most horrible place on earth.' Jaemin shakes his head. 'Actually. Do you mind if we join you? Unless you prefer solitude and silence? Wherever you eat is probably a thousand times better than the cafeteria.'

Donghyuck likes the way Jaemin says 'we' and doesn't expand on who he's referring to because of course he's talking about the other 5 boys. He thinks about the usual tiny spots in empty hallways he eats at and thinks that 7 boys could never fit. He remembers the balcony that overlooks the field and smiles. That was more spacious and of course less despair.

'Sure. Do you know the balcony on the second floor? The one by the stairs next to the Screenwriting class? I sit there. I mean if you wanted to join me. I don't mind.'  
Jaemin beams and he isn't sure how his smiles could get even brighter than usual. 'That's perfect. I'll see you at lunch. Thanks, Hyuck!' he taps his ID and enters the library to the table of brown overcoats where he belonged. Donghyuck checks his watch and sighs. So much for wanting to be early.

 

-

 

All throughout his Media class, Donghyuck worries. This was his major now. Was it the right choice? Will he regret it in the future? For now, he doesn't. He learns about lighting and how it affects everything. If he was a poet, he was sure there was a metaphor in there somewhere. Then he worries about lunch. The sandwich he had packed didn't seem that appetizing anymore as he thought about what he had signed up for. He's not sure Jaemin even likes him, how about the other 5 boys? Donghyuck tries to think about small talk and how he absolutely hates that. He thinks of hobbies and anything interesting about himself and comes up with nothing. The class ends and he takes his time putting away his textbook. He climbed up the stairs to the second floor and he could already hear the voices from the boys on the balcony.

'You haven't finished composing? You're taking your prodigy position for granted.' Jisung says.

'Ugh. Nothing matters anyways, were all just brains in a vat.' Chenle replies as he leans against the wall.

Donghyuck reaches the group and Jaemin makes space between him and Jeno. 'Take your angsty dream deceptions somewhere else. Let's not scare away Donghyuck here.'

'This is all just a simulation.' Renjun says from where he lied on Jeno's lap with an empty tone.

Donghyuck gulps. Jeno laughs. 'He's just messing around. We're not always this gloomy. It's just all this snow.'

'Okay. Formal introductions. Chenle you start.' Jaemin claps his hand.

Chenle smiles. 'I'm Chenle. Music major. Piano prodigy or whatever.'

'Park Jisung. I dance.'

'He got a scholarship from his dancing videos. He's good.' Jaemin adds.

Donghyuck nods. 'That's cool.'

'I'm Huang Renjun. I sculpt.' He lifts his hands to show that they were slightly covered with clay.

'Hello, I'm Jeno! History major.' Jeno smiles.

'This guy has amazing memory. Be careful of what you say around him, he never forgets anything. He still remembers all the weird conspiracy theories I told him when we were like 10. Ugh.' Jaemin says. 'And you know me. Na Jaemin, Philosophy major. Coolest dude you'll ever meet.'

Donghyuck laughs while the rest roll their eyes. Silence ensues as everyone waited for him to say something. He tries to think of what would make him sound interesting. What comes out is 'Uh, I'm Donghyuck. I'm a Media major, I mean I guess. I mean yeah- I am.'

He closes his eyes and wished the snow would cover him up the way it did with his footsteps and make him disappear.

'That's super cool. Nice to meet you.' Renjun says and Donghyuck can breathe again.

'Let's eat!' Chenle announces as he pulls out a croissant from his backpack.

 

-

 

'So, that's your camera? That's so cool. I haven't seen this type in a while. It's usually just those big hefty camera's these days.' Jeno says as he watches Chenle play around with the camcorder.

'Yeah, I'm more comfortable with this camera.' Donghyuck says as if he wasn't just late to borrow equipments and by that time the only thing left was this camera.

'Mark! Where the heck were you? You Creative Writing majors are unreliable.' Renjun says as the sound of heavy breathing nears the group.

There stood Mark Lee, fog on the lenses of his wire framed glasses as he tries to catch his breath.

'Water, please.' he croaks.

Jisung who was nearest to him passed a blue bottle and Mark chugged it down.

'You didn't tell me which balcony. I thought it was the other block's one, so I waited for like half an hour then realised it was here. Chenle, you better have saved me a croissant like you promised.

'I clearly told you it was this block's. The one next to Screenwriting. Does anyone even listen to me?' Jaemin rolls his eyes.

'Uh, about that.' Chenle guiltily lifts up the empty paper bag that once had a croissant and now all that was left was crumbs.

Mark lunges and messes with Chenle's hair to which the other boy lets out a loud squeal but it was obvious Mark wasn't angry at all.

Donghyuck looks at the half of his sandwich he has left. He wasn't very hungry due to the mixture of nerves and excitement. He lifts it towards Mark and the boy smiles for a moment but bites it back. 'Are you sure? No, man. It's yours. You should eat it.'

'It's fine. I'm not hungry. Just take it, if you want some.' Donghyuck offers and Mark hesitates a second before taking the sandwich and bites into it gingerly.

'Wait. What does this button do?' Jisung asks pointing to a small button on the camera. Donghyuck smiles.

 

-

 

The lunches on the balcony became a daily thing. Every time Donghyuck climbed those stairs, he held his breath expecting the worst but every single time the boys would be in their usual circle. He doesn't know how it happened. How the 'we' in Jaemin's sentences now included him. That he makes an extra sandwich every morning because Chenle will finish whatever he promised to bring Mark. Renjun always takes a short nap on Jeno's lap and Jisung is always talking about the Matrix. They soon find out that Donghyuck has no clue what they're talking about because he's never seen the movie and the whole group just goes into panic.

'Oh boy, I don't even know what to say.' Jaemin dramatically sighs.

Jisung just repeatedly shakes his head in silence.

Mark leans in to whisper. 'Jisung is a big fan of the theory that life is a simulation, so the Matrix is kind of his everything. I think you broke the group.' 

'Tomorrow. Clear your plans. Jeno and I have a projector in our room. This is mandatory.' Jaemin says and it's final. Donghyuck now had plans on a Saturday. Donghyuck has plans. When did this happen?

'The jam in the sandwich is really good. What brand is it?' Mark asks as the rest of the group switch topics to the necessity of the projector in their room.

Donghyuck smiles. 'My mom has a strawberry farm. It's homemade.'

Mark was an open book and his excitement showed on his face. 'It's seriously so amazing.'

'Guys. Today at practice, this person had the nerve to say that a cowbell is what every song needs. Can you believe that? Cowbells?' Chenle huffed.

'It's actually pretty true.' Jeno says.

'Oh my god, you're unbelievable.'

'He's right. Let me play you some songs and you tell me cowbells aren't essential to them.' Jaemin adds as he pulls out his phone.

Donghyuck feels warm. Warmth filled every inch of his body. There were no more feelings of longing. This was all he ever wanted. These were the people he could only dream about having in his life. And here they all were.

That night Donghyuck sleeps, (windows closed) and he dreams of the stars. He dreams of the stars and how the spaces between them weren't really that far away.


	3. now my riverbed has dried, shall i find no other?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have no idea how many chapters this will be but it'll probably be a lot bcos we still have a long way to go... Also the markhyuckness hasnt rlly initiated but we will get there.... pls tell me what u think!!!! okay bye enjoy (i mentioned the matrix too much in this hjjh whoops)

Donghyuck had bought an overcoat. He regrets ever buying it as he walked through the snow in the early hours of the day. It was actually a pretty nice coat for something that he had found at a thrift store after rummaging through a basket for some gloves. It was of course nothing compared to the other boys' coats. His didn't have shiny buttons or neatly pressed collars, but he did have two big pockets that perfectly fit his camcorder and three black buttons that remained from what looked like an original total of five. He feels silly. The coat was a bit big on him that it almost went past his fingertips. Donghyuck stopped in his tracks as he inwardly battled with the part of him that wants to turn back around and change into his usual forest green jacket. He realises he's stopped right in the middle of the field. Snow fell hard and it turned his vision white. From every angle that he turned towards, everything looked the same. Donghyuck sighs and all his worries melt away. How could any of his problems ever become important in the universe's eyes when there was snow that fell with confidence, and when that disappears, flowers will bloom and with them comes the sweet scent of daisies that grew outside his dorm. There are things that existed to be beautiful and there are those that existed to give that beauty meaning. Donghyuck decides he was the latter.

In his media class, Donghyuck learns that colours can set the tone and mood of anything. His professor explains about how colours can evoke emotions and that it played an important part in storytelling. Then, she proceeds to play the Matrix, and as the projector showers the whole room with a familiar green, Donghyuck finds himself smiling.

 

-

 

The first time Donghyuck watches the Matrix, he didn't think it was that great. Jeno and Jaemin's apartment had a couch that kind of sunk in the middle and they had also laid blankets on the floor. Renjun ended up tangled with Jeno at the end of the couch and Jisung sat front and center on the blankets, Chenle beside him hogging three pillows with Jaemin lying on his lap. Mark sat on the other end of the couch and that left Donghyuck with the spot where the couch sank. He tries to adjust his feet to get comfortable but there was no way around it. His whole body just sagged down and he sighs as the lights go off and Jisung pulls down the projector screen.

As he watches Neo fly away, coat billowing in the wind, Donghyuck feels everyone else's eyes on him. He doesn't really know what to say after watching something like that. His head kind of hurt trying to make sense of what he had just seen.

'Well, what do you think?' Jaemin asks. 'This decides our friendship.'

Donghyuck knows this is a joke. He knows that Jaemin doesn't mean this. That regardless of what he thought of the movie, they would still be friends tomorrow and the day after that. But there's a tiny part of him that feels rushed to pluck pretty words together about how much he loved the movie just to please him. He thinks about how Jaemin calls him Hyuck, how he always left a space for him at lunch or when they walked together. So he doesn't suck up like he usually does and just tells the truth.

'I kind of don't get it. I mean the movie was really pretty and kind of badass but I'm also super confused.'

Jisung laughs. 'It's so cool. The whole concept behind it is that life is one big simulation. That we're just brains being controlled by computers and nothing here is real.'

'Okay that's pretty morbid.'

'The truth is ugly like that.' Renjun says as he yawns.

'Listen. My stuff always goes missing and then they just show up in some other place that is just so impossible for it to have ended up there. Two weeks ago, I lost my earphones and guess where I found it? in the mailbox.' Jaemin argues.

'Well, your apartment always has us in it and most of the people in our group like to joke around. So is it really the matrix? or are you just being punk'd.' Mark shrugs.

'Shut up. I'm not being punk'd. They'd never want to air an episode with you in it, you negative Nancy.' Jaemin rolls his eyes.

Donghyuck feels more confused than he did after the movie. 'You guys are actually serious about this?' he asks after a while.

'Well, I would hope that we are. This is what we get graded on anyways.' Chenle replies.

'For Cinema Studies?'

Jisung smacks his head. 'No. This is what we learn in Philosophy of Dreams.'

'Wait. Seriously? What does simulations have to do with dreaming?'

Everyone inches closer to Donghyuck and he leans more into the sinking couch.

'Okay, so this guy Descartes. He thinks that dreaming is just sensory deceptions. That we might just be dreaming right now and that when we wake we're still dreaming. That we're never sure when exactly we're dreaming or when we're not. The Matrix is just an example of that but in a more complicated way. That everything they do is a simulation while they're dreaming and it's all just a deception when we're not actually awake.' Jaemin explains.

Donghyuck nods once. Then twice. 'So, this might be a dream? Like none of this is actually happening?'

'Well, that's just one theory. We don't really know why we dream or are even close to understanding dreams. But that's definitely one of the more interesting theories.' Mark replies.

'I thought dreams were just your subconscious at work when you sleep.'

'Dreams are way more than that. It's something that sounds like it should be simple because it's something so normal to us but it's such a complex topic of study.' Jeno smiles. 'Not everyone can handle how in depth it is. That's why our class only has us 6 right now.'

'You people are amazing.' Donghyuck blinks.

'Dibs on the thick futon. Jisung you get the floor.' Chenle says yawning putting an end to the conversation.

'You got the futon last time. Why do I always get the floor? Jeno says we should rotate.' Jisung argues as Chenle goes to unfold the futon.

'You guys solve that issue yourselves. Donghyuck are you sleeping over? You can have the couch.' Jaemin turns to Mark. 'Drive safely, my dear.'

Donghyuck was still in a daze from their past conversation. The thought of sleeping kind of scared him a bit now. He still hasn't left his spot on the couch. As Mark locks the door behind him, Donghyuck lifts his legs up on the couch and lies down. Jeno throws him a blanket and he sleeps. This time, he dreams of nothing. Except when he reaches his arms out, his hands touched solid.

 

-

 

'Don't be silly, honey. Men don't fly.'

The screen goes black and the professor switches the light back on. As homework, she has everyone write a paper on what colour the Matrix used to tell it's story and how it set the tone and mood of the entire movie. Donghyuck doesn't have to think twice to know the answer. Later that afternoon, he types about the colour green and computers and eerie feelings. Loud knocks on his door made him get up from his desk slowly. Was someone lost? He opens his door and a guy with a bored face wearing a red sweater purses his lips.

'Dude, the phone's been ringing for like 10 minutes. This guy won't stop calling, he says he's looking for you.'

Donghyuck goes downstairs to the communal area where the house phone was. He picks up the phone left on the dining table and sighs in relief when he hears familiar voices.

'Put it back! Justin Bieber touched that. Zhong Chenle, I swear I'll-' Jaemin threatens.

'Hello?' Donghyuck speaks finally.

'Oh my god, the man finally answers.' He can imagine Jaemin rolling his eyes as he says this. 'Are you up for another movie night? Jisung won his dance competition and we're watching the Matrix sequels to celebrate. Please come. The sag on my couch misses you very much.'

Donghyuck laughs. 'There's more movies? How is that even possible.'

'Offer expires in 3, 2-'

'You know the answer is yes. I'll be there soon.'

'That's what I like to hear. Yay! Guys, he's coming. Chenle I told you to put that down- Ugh, I got to go, see you later!' Jaemin says followed by a click.

 

-

 

Donghyuck hates his overcoat. Almost as much as he hated the wind and how unreliable buses were. As he started shivering, he was almost tempted to just go back upstairs and change his coat but he felt like if he did that, he would never leave the comfort of his heated room.

The sun was setting now. At 6.15pm, the purple sky accompanied him through the cold and if his fingers didn't feel frozen, he would have taken his camcorder out and shoot the sky. Purple felt like the colour of closure. A colour of peace that made him feel content. The streetlamps turn on and he watches his shadow move. It moves in shivers and otherwise was stiff. He thinks he should get up. It didn't take rocket science to know the bus wasn't coming and he wasn't waiting until 7.30pm for the next one. Donghyuck wonders what the other boys were doing. Would they call the land line of his dorm and asked whoever picked up if he was around? Would they just carry on and watch the sequels and fall asleep peacefully without having to explain every concept to him? His teeth were chattering now but he couldn't bring himself to move.

If he stayed here would anyone find him? The sky was pitch black now. The stars were covered by the snow falling and he closes his eyes. Donghyuck hoped this was all a dream. That whatever he did didn't affect his real life. That his actual life didn't suck like this. He wasn't a boy in a thin coat on the coldest night of the season waiting for a bus that would never come in the dark because none of this was real. What was the word Jaemin used? Sensory deception. He was in his bed under warm blankets. He was on Jaemin and Jeno's couch with back aches from the sunken part in the middle. He was anywhere but here.

When the sound of an engine roars, it sounds very distant. His body feels like it's being shaken but he couldn't really feel any of his parts right now. Donghyuck opens his eyes for a split second and he sees Mark Lee. He knows now for certain that this was a dream. But his dreams were of darkness. They were not of warmth, of arms around him, of comforting whispers. They were of empty voids that he swam through.

 

-

 

'That's impossible. You know it is. Mark, you're the voice of reason. Tell them it's impossible.'

'You know I don't believe in coincidences.'

'It's impossible.'

'You were there. You saw it happen. You can't say what's impossible when it is possible because it did happen.'

'Guys, shut up. You're giving me a headache.'

Donghyuck groans. It felt too early for him to be up. Thoughts of the amount of homework he had to complete made him sit up and open his eyes in horror. Except this was not his room. This room was cluttered and far different from the bareness of his own. He was on someone else's bed. Jaemin's?

A fleet of boys arrive to his side.

'Donghyuck! You gave us quite the scare.' Jaemin says with a crease on his forehead.

'Oh thank goodness, you're awake. We were so afraid.' Jeno sighs in relief.

'Why were you out in the cold?' Jisung asks.

'Why didn't you just call one of us?' Chenle pats his arm.

'Are you okay? How do you feel?' Renjun asks as he hands a glass of water.

'Guys, let him breathe. The doctor said he almost got hypothermia. He must think this is a nightmare with all of your faces being the first thing he sees.' Mark says but he doesn't sound as calm as he usually does.

'He thought you were dead. He panicked all night. Thank god, Mark was late as per usual and passed the school. It was your stupid orange hat that caught his attention.' Jaemin says and Donghuck sets the empty glass down. 'Why didn't you go back inside? The Matrix isn't worth your life. Nothing is.'

Donghyuck remains silent. He looks to the 6 faces staring back at him and he sighs. How could he ever doubt that any of them cared for him? How could he for even a second think that these boys didn't like him as much as he did. That they were waiting for a reason to ditch him in the snow. They saved him. Literally, they had saved his life. 'I'm okay. Really, I am. See.' Donghyuck lifts both his arms up and the boys roll their eyes. He then wraps them around all 6 of them and sighs. 'Thank you. Just- thank you.'

What else could he say? He was a tiny piece of dust that fell into these boys orbits. He tightens his grip and the light that churns in his chest brightens. He was the broken pieces from a supernova that formed together again. A star being born.


	4. cursed by the love that i recieved

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a cute lil soft chapter.... you know what they say calm before the storm Hehe. also hit me up on twitter if u want ever to talk about how wonderful the dreamies are @kunstellation!!!!

This time, not on the brink of death, Donghyuck registers that Mark's car was light blue and looked like it came straight out of a retro movie. It was old, with worn out seats and the handle on the left backseat broken, but it was a pretty cool car. Donghyuck didn't know how to explain it but seeing Mark in the driver's seat just seemed so natural. That this car, dainty but loud was perfect for Mark. After the whole scare from last night, Mark had offered him a ride home with Renjun tagging along as his own apartment was along the way. Donghyuck was surprised Renjun actually had his own place to stay and wasn't actually renting out the right side of Jeno's bed.

'Renjun get in the back.' Mark says as Renjun reaches for the passenger seat's handle. Renjun responses by rolling his eyes but moves to the back seat.

Donghyuck smiles at Mark whose ears turn red immediately. He gets into the passenger seat and buckles his seat belt on. The car engine turns on and it roars. As the sun stretched across the sky and yawned orange into the clouds, they drove.

'Why does it feel so grim? Turn on some music.' Renjun grumbles from the back.

Mark laughs and presses a button which immediately sets off a soft tune. A raspy voice fills the car and Renjun sighs. 'I forgot all you listen to is Jake Bugg.' Mark responds by turning the dials and making the song louder.

Donghyuck quites like the song despite Renjun sounding sour about it. The music nestled itself in his ears and matched the feeling of the sky outside and how it flew past in a whir of orange as they drove. Maybe orange was the feeling of comfort. Of early mornings, the soft haze of sleepiness that coated his vision, it blurred the hard edges of the world and made it soft. As Mark sings along under his breathe, Donghyuck finds himself grinning.

'Whats this song called?'

Mark turns to him in sleepy wonder. Donghyuck notes that he looks like he hasn't slept an inch last night and he guiltily frowns realising that he was probably the cause. But Mark doesn't look tired at all. How could you associate him with fatigue? when he smiled with the warmth of orange. He turns back to the road and left Donghyuck dazed.

'Fire. As Renjun mentioned before its by Jake Bugg. Isn't it wonderful?'

Donghyuck nods, not wanting to destroy the stillness of this moment. Their eyes meet through the rear view mirror and Mark smiles at him once again. This time the smile was kind and soft and honest. It made Donghyuck's insides go quiet and this was pretty much a rarity, as he was often filled worries and doubts. He wants to say something, thank him maybe but instead he returns the smile and hopes the message is conveyed.

Renjun yawns and the morning continues. The sun peeks through the clouds and kisses his skin. Donghyuck closes his eyes and savours the feeling it left on his cheeks. After all, he was a boy of the summer and he can already feel winter leaving. He feels more like himself now.

 

-

 

The rest of the week continues as per normal. Donghyuck went to class, made sandwiches for Mark and laughed at Chenle's jokes. Ever since the incident, he would go as far to say that the group has become more closer. They inched towards each other a bit more, their knees touching as they sat in a circle at lunch. His media class had started their practical segment and they started recording things for class. Donghyuck films the snow falling, the sky at 7.20pm and of his friends laughing. He has two full video cassettes that sit on his bedside table. Every morning he wakes, sees the stack and smiles. Today, he didn't have any morning classes but instead of sleeping in like any average person, here he was going to meet Jaemin for a study date.

Donghyuck looks at himself in the small mirror above his sink. His moles poke out from under his collared shirt and his hair is a ruffled mess. There are dark circles under his eyes and a pimple forming on his right cheek. Splashing water on his face, Donghyuck sighs and resigns that this is as decent as he's going to look today. He puts on his darn over coat, this time with two jumpers layered underneath and his usual orange wool hat on, then proceeds to the library to see Jaemin. But with Jaemin comes Jeno, and with Jeno comes Renjun, so in the end it was the four of them camped out at one of the tables at the back of the library. The librarian sighed when they had entered and Donghyuck noted that there was a hint of endearment.

For two hours, Jaemin recited poems with themes of nature and Donghyuck doodles on and aimlessly highlights the notes that accompanied. Beside them, Jeno and Renjun were quietly writing an essay while tangling their feet together underneath the table. (Donghyuck knows this because Jeno had latched onto his ankle on accident once). Jaemin looks at his watch and curses.

'Guys. We are 10 minutes late to dream philosophy.' He announces.

Jeno groans. 'Johnny will really love that. Thanks for nothing, Mark. He promised to call.'

Renjun laughs. 'You left your phone at home, dummy. And they say you have the best memory.'

Jaemin stands up and the two follow him. 'Will you be okay alone, Hyuck? Class awaits.'

'Yeah. Thanks for meeting with me. See you later.' Donghyuck waves and the three make their way out of the library.

Staring at his highlighted notes, he stretched his arms as the words entered his brain and left in 3 seconds. The information wasn't sticking in his head and he groaned, wishing he had Jeno's brain. A few minutes later, Mark enters the library with eyes scanning each table. He finds Donghyuck and walked over.

'Have you seen Jaemin? or Jeno and Renjun?' Mark asked. 'They're late and our professor is kind of mad. Class isn't the same with just 3 people.'

Donghyuck chuckled. 'They just left for class, actually.'

Looking dumbfounded, Mark huffed. 'Wow. That's just great.'

'You probably should go.'

Mark nodded and spared him one more glance. 'Your coat looks really cool.' then left, leaving Donghyuck in a daze like always.

 

-

 

Chenle has a performance later that night. The school's orchestra is a pretty big deal around here, so he's been secretly nervous, hiding it behind too many jokes about Jaemin's new haircut that was not unlike a bowl. He disappears during lunch and the circle is incomplete. Mark finally gets a croissant but still asked for a bite from Donghyuck's sandwich. The boys looked tired. In fact they looked like they haven't gotten proper sleep in a while now. His insecurities tell him they've been having their own movie marathons but he knows that isn't true. Exam season is coming up and they were all very worried about grades and had no time to leisure. They were probably up burning the midnight oil with studying just like Donghyuck, who feared his scholarship to be revoked. Silence filled the second floor balcony save and Donghyuck was so used to the loudness of the group that he thinks this must be a dream of some sort. Then Jisung hands everyone tickets for the show tonight, strictly telling Mark he couldn't wear the new red basketball shoes he just bought and the banter begins. All was normal.

Donghyuck was running late. It was entirely his fault. He had been fussing with whether or not to wear his over coat. After Mark's comment he feels odd whenever he puts it on, so he's been trading it for his usual green jacket. Tonight's event was formal, so he probably should wear the over coat. It went nicely with his beige turtleneck and black pants. In this outfit, he looked neat, almost as if he was put together and not like his life was one big, messy scramble. He doesn't know what the big deal is. Mark said his coat was cool, not necessarily that he looked cool in it. Donghyuck sighs and just puts the darn coat on and locks the door behind him.

He was a fool. Donghyuck totally forgot that the auditorium was fully heated and he didn't even need to wear a coat at all. Once again, he had worried about nothing and now he was left with the unnecessary weight of the coat draped over his arm. The other boys looked sharp in their formal wear. They usually looked formal and neat anyways, with long over coats, buttoned shirts and brown loafers. But tonight they looked like they went bidding on abstract art pieces on the weekends. Especially Chenle, who was in a dark suit and hair slicked back sitting in front of a massive grand piano. The show starts and beautiful strings of music float in the air. Donghyuck who was nestled in between Jisung and Mark was in wonder. He doesn't have an exact taste in music, he just listened to whatever was available. But he was pretty confident that he could tell the difference between good and bad music, and this was breathtaking. It caressed his ear drums and made him feel emotional somehow. Chenle's face is scrunched up in concentration but there is still that playfulness in the way his fingers danced along the keys. He understood now how Chenle, a tiny first year managed to claim the spot in front of the piano. This was pure magic.

In fact, tonight was pure magic. All 7 of them were cooped up in Mark's blue car with Chenle sitting proudly on Jaemin's lap in the centre. Jisung up front and the rest of them packed like a can of tuna in the back. Chenle wanted ice cream and of course everyone had to oblige with the star of tonight. They brought their glow with them into baskin robbins where Chenle tried to get Mark to buy him a cone with three flavours. Donghyuck chooses mint chocolate chip and the rest of the boys look at him with distaste.

'If you're going to spend Mark's money, please don't waste it on that.' Jaemin says as he licks his cone of raspberry sorbet.

'You are all missing out. This is where it's at.' Donghyuck sticks his tongue out.

'Gross.' Jisung says but with a smile.

They sit out on Mark's car. Half of them on the trunk and the other half on the hood.

'If you spill one drop on her, I will never speak to you again.' Mark threatens before climbing next to Jeno and Donghyuck who wanted to enjoy the clear night sky rather than be with the rest of them who were getting high on sugar and giggling over nothing.

'I wish I knew of the constellations.' Mark says breaking the silence after he finishes his cup of vanilla ice cream.

'Yeah, it would be so great to know the stars. You would know the way of the universe.' Donghyuck agrees.

'I know the constellations.' Jeno smiles up at the sky.

Donghyuck and Mark share a look. 'Of course you do.' The redhead says.

'That one is Auriga. You can see it there. The one kind of shaped like a house.' Jeno pointed and the two other boys squinted.

Donghyuck could kind of make up a house like shape in the sky. 'I think I see it.'

'This one has a pretty cool story. It's supposed to be shaped like a chariot.' Jeno explains. 'There are a lot of myths about this but I like the one about how Auriga actually represents the god of craftsmen and blacksmiths, Haphaestus. He built this chariot, so that he could travel wherever he wanted to, whenever he wanted.'

'I like that. A limitless life.' Mark says with a whimsical tone.

'You have a car. You're pretty much the same.' Jeno pats the hood they were sitting on.

'I'm a Creative Writing major. I meant that more metaphorically.'

'Where would you go, if you could go anywhere, anytime you wanted to?' Jeno asks after rolling his eyes.

'Jupiter, of course.' Mark says as if that was the most obvious answer. Jeno doesn't look surprised. Maybe it was.

'I'd go back in time. I'd like to have tea with Plato.' Jeno grins. 'And you, Hyuck?'

Donghyuck looks around him. The ground beneath him wet with melted snow, the sky clear with shining stars blinking at him, on top of an old, blue car. He looks at the other boys. On the trunk, Chenle laughing in high pitch as Jisung does a silly freestyle, Jaemin beat boxing and Renjun trying hard not to laugh along. Here, Jeno who had a map of the universe, Mark with red cheeks and redder ears and Donghyuck, with a smile containing all of the magic the 7 of them emitted. He thinks he'd sound sad if his response was 'Here. Wherever you guys are. I'd go anywhere.', so instead he shrugs and they continued looking up at the stars. Donghyuck wonders if the constellations looked at them in wonder, a seven star cluster who were just as beautiful and bright.


	5. drowned in living waters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hewwo... im so sorry i havent updated i went on a trip and life hit me in the face so uhh yeah anyways ... who knows horribly written fillers!!!!!

Finals week arrived and left in what felt like a flurry of seconds. There wasn't a pause at all, a density of information clouded Donghyuck's head and during every paper, it almost felt like he was a dam releasing memorized facts out onto sheets of paper that held his academic life in it's hands. There wasn't time. There wasn't any time for Donghyuck to whip out his camcorder or to say farewell to the snow that slowly melted away and left muddy patches of brown on the fields. One moment, he was on the way to his first paper, History, in his orange beanie and gloves stolen from Jisung, and the next he had folded away all his sweaters and the flowers outside his window were blooming.

When studying, Donghyuck often forgets about the rest of the world. He was raised on school systems that based his self worth with red ink on exam papers. He has associated bad grades with disappointed looks and not being good enough. Sometimes, he finds himself with cramped fingers that are stained with ink and the clock reading out 4am and snaps himself out of it. He leaves bright post it notes everywhere, his desk, on the cover of his textbooks, reminding himself to eat and Donghyuck even makes it that he gets 7 hours of sleep everyday. Yet, the rest still blurs into one pile of mush in his brain. He doesn't remember how many of the boys he has seen or what any of them have said to him. He doesn't remember the food he eats or where he's taken his exams. Once the week is over, time returns to normal. His heart burns with longing like it used to. It was June, the sun made his brown eyes shine and his skin beam. The second floor balcony is covered by an untouched layer of dust. Instead, a red mat was stretched on the grass, and sat upon it in a familiarly disorganized way were his friends.

Nothing much has changed, even with the seasons changing. Except, Jaemin had let his hair grow out a bit and Jisung seemed impossibly taller. Other than that, their knees still bumped into each others when they sat down and took residence in front of Jeno and Jaemin's projector. They watched low rated movies and pretended they were important film critics. Chenle cooked big pots of pasta and Mark taught them French over tiny shared pieces of baguettes. They played card games over bottles of ice cream soda until they had tears from laughing about nothing in the middle of the night. Most nights they fell asleep on their respective beds, futons or spot on the couch. Other nights, Jisung and Chenle cycled home and Donghyuck finds himself in the passenger seat of Mark's car.

They have established a routine now. Mark would play new music every ride and Donghyuck would ignore the humming of his chest when Mark starts to sing along under his breath. Some days, Mark would catch Donghyuck smiling and then sing louder, filling his tiny car with smooth vocals and warmth that didn't originate from the sun outside. Last night, Mark dropped him off in front of his dorms as the world around him slept and in the dim of the streetlights and the light breeze outside, he feels something that he couldn't explain in words or even colours. Donghyuck dreams of a blue car and a road that never ended.

 

-

 

Maybe if he had known that that would be the end of the life he's known and that today, would be the first day of the rest of his life, Donghyuck would have lingered in that time longer. He would've played around with the super 16 camera he finally invested in a bit more. The clouds at 7.20pm framed by Mark's car windows were always the right shade of perfect. Maybe, he would have laughed a bit more at Jaemin's jokes and the way the librarian shook her head at their presence. Maybe then, he could truly appreciate how big the situation they were in was. His boys were bright and brilliant but they were still boys. Scared, curious and so, so enticing. Before all of this, Donghyuck would say he'd follow them to the ends of this earth. Now, he'd hesitate for a second but still nod.

There wasn't really a certain point in time where the air thickened and Donghyuck demanded to know what was going on. He figured it out because Mark's face was a map of the universe. It was open, vast and honest. He finds Mark's eyes that hid behind his wire framed glasses were fatigued and tired. This didn't make sense because for the past few nights they've slept over at Jaemin and Jeno's instead of their usual ride home. Mark falls asleep with his glasses barely on his nose and whatever thick book pressed on his cheek, leaving tiny lines imprinted in the morning. Donghyuck falls asleep with a full heart as their shoulders melt together on the tiny couch with the sag in the middle.

Everyone seemed to be tired. They acted as if they haven't had a good night's rest in weeks. The boys matched with their over coats, brown loafers and bags under their eyes. Donghyuck watches in amusement as all of that fatigue disappears as they rush to their philosophy class. Turning back to his assigned reading, Donghyuck tries to concentrate. He puts all of his curious energy into the poems about nature.

Donghyuck begins to eat alone in the grass. He waits until his head feels like it could fry an egg under the sun and then gives up waiting. Lately, every time his friends had Philosophy of Dreams classes, they've been staying in the classroom for hours on end. They barely acknowledged it too, all the time they're gone. Jaemin just smiles as he enters class halfway through and asks Donghyuck to keep a lookout as he sneaks in a bite of chocolate.

Truthfully, Donghyuck didn't figure out himself. It just unfolded by itself. In the library, Donghyuck tries to pay attention to Jeno explaining about the geography of Rome but his eyes were caught by Jisung in the corner. He had a notebook opened and with a pencil he wrote, 'Today, I had a dream.' which Donghyuck shakes off and gets distracted by Renjun's doodling next. Later that afternoon, Donghyuck tries to call Jaemin to ask about homework but the phone rings to voice mail. So, he called Jeno and then Renjun, who was sure to be with him but none of them picked up. One of his dorm mates were sighing impatiently by the kitchen doorway, so Donghyuck leaves the phone and goes back up to his room. The situation was a bit odd but Donghyuck had to submit his essay by 9pm tonight and he has not started at all. He'd just call Jaemin again later.

 

-

 

In the end, it was Mark. Mark's car engine, angry and loud. Mark's knocks, urgent and persistent. Mark's face, honest and so, so scared. His room was dark with only his small night lamp on and there were books and clothes all over his floor but Donghyuck doesn't think about any of this as Mark enters. He was a stranger to the room but his calculated steps towards the edge of his bed seemed so natural.

'Mark, what is going on?'

'Jisung is missing. He's gone.'

The loud clock that was 2 minutes too early lived in the hallway outside and it cried out rings into midnight. Besides a loud ring every few seconds, there was absolute silence in the room. The clock almost sounded like a cruel countdown. After the 12th ring, it ends and begins ticking as per normal. Strange, how things continued even when it felt like Donghyuck's world had stopped.


	6. shall i sleep within your bed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was long overdue but *runs* take this disappointing piece of writing

If this was any other night besides tonight, Donghyuck would have put on socks instead of having to deal with blisters the next day. He would've pulled out his camcorder and film the starry sky as the warm night's air kissed his cheeks. There would have been a presence in the car between his and Mark's seats as the old speakers would croak out some old song. Mark would have sang under his breath and Donghyuck would smile to himself as he felt his heart rattle against his chest. 

But tonight was different. It was a darn miracle that he even got his shoes on, let alone be able to strap his seat belt in. On other nights, Donghyuck prayed for a seal in time; for the roads to keep winding and never end. Tonight, his feet bounced up and down as he wished to reach Jeno and Jaemin's apartment already. Mark glanced at him once, mirroring the worried look that was on Donghyuck's face. He didn't know much about the situation. Just something about dreams, a lost of connection and Jisung being missing. The worry that tugged at his heart silenced any thoughts that usually creeped in by now. Donghyuck was wrinkles on foreheads and shaky hands clasped together on his lap. 

'Tell me from the start. The whole thing.' Donghyuck didn't have to ask. After being handed a cup of hot chocolate and saw Jisung's tall figure covered by a blanket but very much breathing, the rest of them circled around him and began talking.

Like with everything else, it started with Jaemin. 'I used to have nightmares. It wasn't scary or whatever, it was just of empty space and I was the only one there. You know how everything is all mismatched and time moves differently in dreams? Mine almost felt real. Like, I was really sitting by myself for 7 hours every night. It was actually very scary because it felt too real. I just stayed quiet and still in my dreams because the energy I used in there exerted on my body here. Then one day Jisung told me he dreamt of the same thing.'

Jaemin paused to take a sip of his drink. 'It was a coincidence, except none of us believed in that. That night, I called out for Jisung and he heard my voice. He followed it and found me. We were in an empty space where nothing existed but us.'

'I dream vividly too. Chenle would be with me sometimes and we'd have conversations in them like normal. Then one day, we were talking and he brought up something I had only mentioned in a dream. It turns out, we were dreaming together.' Renjun continues.

'Except ours was always in a forest. Tall trees that covered the sky and thick. We could never find an end to the place.' Chenle adds. 

‘Recently, we’ve been trying to see if all of us were connected when we dreamed,’ Jaemin continued. ‘To see if we can somehow meet in the middle.’

‘That’s what we do in Philosophy of Dreams by the way. The graduates before us used to have similar dreams but they never quite figured it out. Ten was the closest’ Jeno explained.

‘Chenle and I have tried climbing up the trees to see if there was a way out of the forest. It keeps stretching and when we think we’re close to the edge we just seem like were circling back,’ Renjun sighed. ‘That’s why we all look like we haven’t slept in ages. We keep exerting our bodies even in our dreams just trying to figure this out.’

‘I realised it first. A deep fog of smoke was entering the square of space that Jisung and I were in. Which was really odd because for how long I’ve had this dream, there was nothing solid I could touch in the darkness but Jisung,’ Jaemin says. ‘The place was always so, so cold. The smoke felt good, comfortable.’

‘Jisung found out where the smoke came from. There was a door our space. One we never even encountered. He found the knob, opened it and there was so, so much smoke. It filled up the entire space and I couldn’t see where I was going and Jisung was nowhere. The smoke kept bugging my lungs and I felt like I was suffocating. I knew I had to wake up, so I did. I thought Jisung would too but I think he’s stuck in the dream.’ Jaemin spoke in an exhausted voice.

‘Where does Mark and Jeno play into all of this?’ Donghyuck finally spoke.

‘It was my fault.’ Mark bit his lip. ‘Jeno and I keep waking up in our dreams in different places. They were never ever the same. I would wake up in different bedrooms, in empty houses, by the side of quiet lakes, on tall trees.’

‘We just never stumbled onto the other boys, so we tried to think of a method of communicating to each other while dreaming.’ Jeno mumbled.

‘Fire.’ Mark says bitterly. ‘Take it back old school and use smoke signals.’

‘But we didn’t know how to make fires in our dreams. How would that even work? Jisung and Jaemin in a dark room with nothing. Chenle and Renjun in a literal forest and Mark and I in inconsistent places,’ Jeno explained further. ‘So, Mark and I decided that if the two of us ever had the opportunity to build a fire. If we woke up in kitchens or somewhere with materials. We’d start a fire and the boys would all come to us. We would all finally meet.’

‘I woke up next to a barn. There was firewood and a fucking box of matches. It felt unreal. That all our time trying to figure this all out might eventually work,’ Mark shut his eyes. ‘I struck the stupid matches and the fire got bigger and bigger and the barn caught on fire and god, there was so much smoke.’

‘I waited and waited but no one was coming and the fire was roaring and it hurt to breathe, so I woke up.’

‘I think Jisung is still waiting for us. Looking for the source of the fire.’ Chenle rationalised.

‘I think Jisung passed out in the dream. I think he not only exhausted himself but he inhaled too much smoke. That’s why he’s not waking up. Our bodies here and there are connected.’ Jaemin stood up.

‘The fire. I’ve never seen anything spread so wildly.’ Mark takes off his glasses.

‘Chenle and I could see so much red from the forest. It’s only a matter of time before-‘ Renjun trailed off.

’The smoke was everywhere.’ Jaemin says.

Donghyuck closed his eyes as the information processed in his brain. Jisung, the kindest boy he’s ever met was stuck in a dream of smoke and fire. The other boys looked so exhausted. Almost on the brink of passing out. He reached out to adjust the blanket that had fallen over Jisung’s shoulder. A thought struck him out of nowhere.

The same feeling of something firm and real and solid in his dreams of nothingness. Quiet whispers that never made sense. It shouldn’t be a possibility. That Donghyuck was just as magical as these boys he had known to love. He always thought he never dreamed. He always felt like he was floating into unconsciousness. He never would think that even in his dreams he had Jaemin and Jisung in the same room. Chenle and Renjun somewhere in a forest and Mark and Jeno all over the place. He felt like he finally had a purpose. That all his years of going with the flow without any real purpose were over. He had literally dreamed for this.

‘Renjun and Chenle tried going back into the dream but the fire was burning down their trees. It was too dangerous. Mark and I can’t ever wake up in the right place. We’re always so far away.’ Jeno explained.

‘I’m the closest to Jisung. I just needed a breather before I went back there.’ Jaemin laid down on the couch. ‘I best be going now.’

Donghyuck sees how tired Jaemin was. The bags under his eyes darker than ever. His eyes red and his speech slurred. He decides then that he would do anything for these boys. He thinks he’s decided on that a long time ago in the middle of fights for sandwiches during lunch or maybe it was when Donghyuck woke up in the middle of the night from the ache of sleeping on the couch to see all the other boys sleeping quietly. Chenle on the futon after winning a round of scissors, paper, stone with a grumbly Jisung. Renjun and Jeno a heap of tangled limbs. Mark and Jaemin sleeping back to back with the blanket fully on Mark since Jaemin kicked it off at night. Donghyuck rolled his sleeves. 

‘Actually, I’m feeling rather sleepy,’ Donghyuck announced as he began to lay his head onto Mark’s lap. 

He wasn’t lying, he was quite exhausted from all the homework he had done and all of the worrying his heart went through. He doesn’t know how he can sleep with the thought of Jisung somewhere alone in a. World of fire. But he does anyway, He was a boy of summer. Of hot dry days and a heat that burned the top of heads. He was a boy of crimson and blinding red. He was a boy of summer who falls asleep. This time he dreams of an open door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay I had a draft of the remaining chapters to this for so long but I kept pressuring myself to write something better for like the reveal of why Jisung is missing and that just took the fun out of writing which is bad :( so I finally settled on this and it's not the best but yeah!!!! sorry for the wait... go shout at me to write on twt @qiahnkun


End file.
